In 2006, an open request was put out to several hockey parents. The request was for stories related to our experiences with travel hockey tournaments. I thought that I had an interesting story to share and the story was published as part of that article. I found some therapeutic value in writing the story, but I also came to realize how resilient our children can be and how easily we can forget that fact.
On Thanksgiving Day 2005, my son and I were driving from a relative’s house to our house to pick up his equipment and get ready to head to a tournament the next day.
It had started to snow earlier and the wind had started to pick up. We made it from the side roads over to the highway and had been heading south for about 10 minutes when I hit a patch of snow that was covering black ice. The truck spun 270 degrees, rolled onto the side and slid backwards down a small embankment. Losing traction was a little surprising since the truck was a Ram 2500 4x4 and I was not driving in excessive speed like some of the other people that I saw pass us.
Thankfully, both my son and I were wearing our seatbelts and he was uninjured and I had only a minor cut. Because of the way that we fell I had to push him out the passenger side window and I had to climb out that way as well. Some very nice people stopped for us while we waited for the police and an ambulance to arrive. Later, some of our relatives picked us up and brought us back to their house for the evening.
After some deliberation, we decided that we couldn’t let this deter us. So, the following day we used another vehicle to drive and pick up his equipment and make it in time for the tournament. The first game that he played he did not play very well and I could tell that he was still shaken up. But his second game was the best game that he had played up until that point in the season. Somehow, he was able to pull himself from really deep down and put up a magnificent game and the team ended up finishing second in the tournament.
By itself that part of the story might have been slightly interesting, but not noteworthy, however, the story continues and becomes ironic. The following February, my son and I were returning from another tournament when I was forced to do some evasive driving as another vehicle pulled into my lane without looking, forcing us into oncoming traffic. We were able to avoid an accident and continue, but we were a little shaken by the incident. Then 45 minutes later a few miles north of the first accident, I hit black ice or slush along the side of the road on a bridge, lost control of my new 4x4 Dodge Ram 1500, spun 180 degrees and rolled over landing on the top of the truck and sliding off the side of the road. This time several of my son’s teammates passed us without realizing that we had again rolled the truck. We were able to call one of them and he was able to give us a ride home.
The following day my son complained about headaches, so we took him to the doctor’s office where he checked out fine and the doctor proceeded to tell him how lucky he was to have survived the accident without significant injury. My wife informed the doctor that it was actually the second roll over in three months for him. Amazed, the doctor asked him how he was doing emotionally and he responded by saying, “It was just a rollover, no big deal.”
Two years later we both have a little anxiety when we have to drive in bad weather, but that response and his ability to continue playing the sport he loves really opened my eyes. In the few years that my son has played hockey, he has definitely been through some ups and downs besides this incident. For instance, not making a team that he had been on the season before; not playing in the big game after having played almost every other game in the season and going to every practice; and so on.
Luckily, we haven’t had to deal with major injury, and I realize that there are a lot of young athletes out there who have far worse experiences in sports, but we as parents need to remember that these are important learning experiences for our kids and that in a lot of cases all that really matters to them is that they get to play the game they love. If they can’t play tomorrow, then they play the day after or they go home and practice/play. It is all just a game. They know it, and instead of worrying for them or getting mad at a coach we need to take that one lesson from them and remember it. That it is all just a game.
