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You have had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament, because dad was at another tournament in a different state with kid #2, & Mom had kid #3 two states away in a 3rd tournament all in one weekend.
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You know every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on but don't have a clue as to who his school mates are.
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You take out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.
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You ground your kids for weeks (except for practice and games.)
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You complain about playing time even when only half the players show up for the game.
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You plan the birth of your next child so he has a good age bracket birth date.
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You shout, "watch this, watch this!" every time junior touches the ball/puck/etc, even in practice.
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Your baby's first word is Zamboni.
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You order new personalized license plates when your child changes teams.
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The volume of your child’s sport related email at work exceeds business related email during the off-season.
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All computer passwords contain your child's number.
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You have been barred from more than one playing surface on more than one occasion.
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All photos of family vacations have a foreign flag in the background.
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You keep stats.......at practice.
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You can rationalize spending $159 a single piece of sports equipment for your 9 year old, but won't spend $5.00 for a birthday card for your spouse!
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You have more mom/dad t-shirts and sweatshirts for the sports your child plays than you have shoes.
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You have had to explain that the pilgrims didn't play hockey, and Thanksgiving is actually a holiday, not a tournament.
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You purchased a new $135 piece of equipment because he old one didn’t have any scores left in it.
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You can't compose a sentence, or have a conversation that doesn't use at least one of the following words: elite, select, AAA, nationals, premier, or tryouts.
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You think a 93 merlot select is a new travel team, and you want to know when tryouts are.
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You know a few 5 year olds who are pretty good, but they lack focus.
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Your kids have asked if Christmas this year is home or away.
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You want to have another child just so he/she can start a little younger.
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You have had a conflict between tryouts and first communion, and you asked the church what your options are!
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You received a letter from AAA automobile club, and you called to get more info about tryouts!
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Someone asks how old your children are, and you respond "I have a 90, 93 and a 95."
